Scripture Scribbles: January 29, 2023

the Gospel

Matthew 5:1-12a

When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain,

and after he had sat down, his disciples came to him.

He began to teach them, saying:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,

for they will inherit the land.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

for they will be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,

for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the clean of heart,

for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,

for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you

and utter every kind of evil against you falsely because of me.

Rejoice and be glad,

for your reward will be great in heaven."

the devotion

I’m going to be very honest. When I saw that the beatitudes fell to me in our cycle of writing for To Grow Good, my heart sank a little bit. Jesus’ famous teachings from his sermon on the mountain here have caused discomfort for me for my whole life. I have never desired to be poor, meek, grieving, insulted, hungry, or even particularly merciful or peacemaking. In fact, from the woundedness of my heart, I have feared those experiences and sought to be rich, powerful, safe, affirmed and accepted and to get my fair share. But since laboring and birthing my first child, our tender, loving God has been doing a work of deep conversion in my heart. And he has led me back to this theme again and again.

So four years into this slow and gentle conversion, I trust him more and I know that I can press into that familiar feeling of discomfort as it forms in my heart. I know that pressing into it, I am not alone, but rather, I am led here by the God of every little detail, the God who delights to work through “coincidences” like writing cycles and liturgical calendars. And I pray, “I feel like I can’t offer anything here, Lord, I don’t think I get it yet. Will you show me?”

And of course he does. He reminds me of the work he has been doing in my heart around the themes of true freedom and identity. He brings back recent conversations and scripture and essays I have read this week. And as usual, I am overwhelmed by the mystery and beauty of God’s heart and how he knows me. And how he knows you. He knows that we will look to all of those things I listed for our identity, for our worth, for our safety, for our affirmation, for our protection. And he invites us into a radical reversal of the rules of the world. Specifically in surrendering those false defenses to him, we experience true joy and freedom that are not contingent upon circumstance. The word beatitude means supreme blessedness, a state of great joy. I have seen this supreme blessedness, this impossibility of great joy in deeply difficult circumstances in friends and family and saints who know God. I want that too.

Sweet Lord, you who know me, you who call me beloved and pursue me relentlessly, thank you for working in every little detail of my life. Keep me close to your heart and help me to surrender myself completely to your care. Give me the grace to know that my worth comes from you and only you and that you have spoken that worth over me through your suffering and death and in a thousand beautiful whispers calling to my heart. Give me the courage to take your hand and to desire and embrace the poverty and littleness that leads to true freedom and joy.

Today’s devotion was written by Lucia Parker